Choices and their Consequences
Recently divorced, William really didn't handle losing his wife to her boss very well. She was his best friend, his confidant, his muse and he thought that their marriage was secure; that his wife loved him to bits and that it would last until death do them part. But it was an unequal marriage of dependence and convenience. He had come to rely on his wife for his every need. She cooked his food, shared his bed, washed and ironed his cloths, did the shopping and cleaned the house, while she was holding down a full time job and even raising their teenage daughter, during his predominant absence. Gladys his childhood sweetheart was fed up and needed something more or better than she had with Will and she unceremoniously dropped his ass for greener pastures.William was an amputee wearing prosthesis who commanded a demanding job in Government, worked awkward hours and was always flying from one destination to the other. Had, being the operative word, because as his depression got the better of him, he lost focus, pined the loss of his wife, was angry at the world, lost interest in everything and subsequently lost his job. Over time he turned into a "lost soul", he wouldn’t cook for himself, hardly ate and making up his bed was too difficult a chore. His personal hygiene even suffered as he neglected washing himself, hardly opened his curtains and windows. He needed things to look dark and gloomy, so even he covered-up the mirrors so that he wouldn't see himself. It came the point that he didn't even want to leave to house to get daily necessities while the milk in his fridge had turned green the cheese had gone mouldy and the soup in a container grew hair. William preferred surfing the internet for days on end, paying no heed to time, reading other peoples tragedies on their personal blogs.
During time out, Will spent countless hours sitting cross legged on his bed just starring at a large framed photograph of his deceased parents hanging against the hallway wall directly in line with his open bedroom door. Reminiscing the tragedies of his young life and weighing the "what if's" against the "why's". Will's dad Jethro was a reformed alcoholic who promised his wife heart and soul that he would never ever return to the green and brown bottles for the rest of his natural life. On their way home from Pretoria after the long Easter Weekend they were involved in a multi car pileup on a mountain pass.
In his drunken state Jethro caused the crash resulting in the death of a passenger, while his wife Martha lost both her legs and Will his son lost his left arm. Jethro had emerged from the accident unscathed physically but mentally scared for life by guilt. Will starring at the photograph tried to make sense of his father's mental state after the fatal crash, and remembered how his dad used to beat himself-up daily. He remembered his dad's remorse and the countless times his dad apologized to them and how much he cried. He remembered his dad hiding from people; he remembered how his dad neglected himself after the demise of his mother. He remembered how he had to beg his father to eat something. He remembered his dad pining his life away.
Then a smile appeared on his face, Will got off the bed, opened the curtains as well as the windows to allow the cold night air to permeate the room. It was as if a light went on inside his head. He realised his dad was a product of circumstances. A circumstance that would have had a different outcome if his dad made a different choice. Will realised that giving up on live and throwing in the towel was a choice he had made but that there were other and better choices that were just waiting to be made. Will realized that he could have drunken himself into a state of forgetfulness like his dad did, which may have had outcomes beyond his control.
He didn't want those sorts of regrets. He realised wallowing in self pity wasn't going to benefit him anything. Will realised he needed the silent soliloquy and that everything was going to be OK. As if my magic Will concurred his depression and realised that he always had the answer to his problem. Smiling to himself once again he remembered what his mother had once told him during his youth when he was distraught after his girlfriend dumped him for his best friend. She said, Will if the miss the bus, catch the next one, and it you missed that one catch the next. He realised what his mother said very loosely referred to his ex-wife Gladys. It was way time for Will to catch the next bus.
